


It Smells Of Home

by brokendrums



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 11:15:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokendrums/pseuds/brokendrums
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn sleeps with a teddy bear!</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Smells Of Home

Zayn wakes up a few days into the American tour to a package sitting at the end of his bed, from the loopy handwriting and stickers stuck around the address he knows it's from his sisters and the sight of it makes his stomach squirm. It makes him laugh because they haven't been away for that long, Zayn's still battling with jetlag since it's only really been a few days and he knows that it must have been soon after he left for it to get here so quickly.

He pulls back the lid and finds a few things he's left at home, a hat he hasn't worn in a few months and a few nick knacks his mum has stowed away for him. He skims through the letter, the changing handwriting from his father, to his mother to his three sisters. At the bottom, scrawled in glittery pink marker that belongs to his youngest sister 'don't loose Mr. Cuddles.' 

Zayn frowns for a moment before rummaging through the rest of the box. There's a few bars of chocolate that you can't get out in the states and he throws them onto the dresser for Niall because he knows it's his favourite, some shirts and pieces of clothing that he'd left in the washing machine before heading to the airport and squished at the bottom of the box is a teddy bear that he recognises from his little sister's bedroom. It tugs at his heart because he can imagine her slipping it in and pretending not to notice how their mum tears up at the sight, squeezing it down until the flaps of the box will finally close around it and his dad can sellotape it up tight. 

It smells of home too and it makes his stomach curl at the scent. He can smell the lavender of the fabric conditioner his mum uses and strawberries from the shampoo that his sisters somehow always smell of and his mum's flowery perfume. If he closes his eyes he could nearly imagine that he's tucked in the corner armchair in their living room, mum in the kitchen and his sisters messing around on the carpet in front of the fire. 

He sets it carefully on top of his suitcase and clears his throat before Harry comes into his room and tells him they have to go. 

He manages not to think of it all day, distracting himself with messing about and trying to ignore all the cameras that are pointing at them constantly. He doesn't even know what they're filming for but he says all things he's scripted to say and messes about all afternoon with Liam and Louis and dodges all the cookies that Harry lobs at him and pelts Niall with nerf bullets until he pouts at him and he doesn't have the heart to fire any more in his direction. He's running on red bull and sugary sweets that Niall keeps slipping out of his pocket and he's more than relieved when they can go back to their rooms for a few hours before dinner. 

He crashes onto his bed, not bothering to kick off his shoes or push away any of the stuff that's sitting on the duvet, just pulling his knees up to his chest and falling asleep nearly immediately. 

He's still half asleep when he hears Louis' voice. He can't have been sleeping for that long but he still feels groggy enough to push his nose further into the pillow and try to drift off again.

"I dunno." He hears Liam murmuring faintly but Louis just tuts and pads around the room in his bare feet. Zayn can't tell what they're doing but he decides to wait it out and see what they're up to before opening his eyes. 

"It'll be funny - where's your sense of humour Payne?" Louis asks in the way he always does before talking someone into pranking one of the others. 

"Where did he even get it anyway?" Liam asks, no longer protesting meaning he's been successfully pulled into doing whatever Louis wants. Zayn doesn't need to open his eyes to imagine the grin that Louis has on his face now. He can feel the mattress dip and then something very soft brush over his fingertips. He tries not to jump when Louis laughs abruptly, as if keeping quiet is slowly killing him.

"Go get the others," he orders through breathless giggles and Zayn can hear the door click as Liam obeys him.

"What is it?" Harry asks a few moments later trotting in after Niall, the door swinging open again and Louis jumping up in a jittery wiggle. Harry's voice turns soft. "Aw look at him. He‘s look cute like that."

"Tweet a picture," Louis demands, always looking to take the joke too far. 

"No wait." Liam laughs and there's a clatter of something and them all laughing softly. They're making too much noise now for Zayn to fully pretend that he's still asleep so he twitches overdramatically and rolls over. He blinks up at them, spotting Mr. Cuddles an inch from his hand and Louis pouting at him, the cameras they had been using earlier on his shoulder.

"Fuck off," Zayn complains with no real heat and rubs the sleep out of his eye. Harry and Liam laugh again and push Louis out of the room but Niall just smiles softly at him from where he's perched on the corner of the bed . Zayn can feel his eyes on him as he stands up and stretches but ignores it, not wanting to upset whatever it is that is developing between them. It's becoming really noticeable, thick tension and long drawn out silences whenever they're left on their own that Zayn can't help but wish were longer because he get's some inexplicable giddy feeling deep in his belly when it happens. "Ready for dinner Niall?" 

Niall nods quietly, smile still on his face and he stands up from his bed and let's an arm be flung over around his neck as they walk back out to meet the others. 

Hours later, long after the post show adrenaline has wore off and Zayn is more than exhausted he finally makes it to his bed. He can still hear Louis and Harry messing around in the hallway but Zayn just ignores it, stripping off the sweats he found on the tour bus that he thinks might belong to Liam and crawling into bed. The bear is still there and in the dark and already half asleep he thinks nothing of it as he grips the paw tight with his palm and pulls it to his chest, curling around it and inhaling deeply, letting his mind take him back to his mother’s lavender sheets at home. 

*

He's more than embarrassed that it‘s became a pattern. He's nineteen years old and sleeping with a bear. It's been a few nights and they're in a completely different city but he still finds himself sneaking the bear out of the bottom of his suitcase and snuggling down below the duvet with it. It's beginning to smell less and less of home and more of his own sweat and shower gel but it's more a comfort pressed against his chest than he's ready to admit to himself.

He realises that it's becoming a bit of a problem when they drive through the night to the next concert venue and it takes him ages to fall asleep because his luggage is all packed up in the compartment below them. He slumps down into the corner of one of the sofas in the back of the bus and watches as Liam beats Harry at Fifa even though Louis is doing his best to distract him. They dissolve into a messy pile of limbs moments later, Louis climbing all over them to grab a controller and Niall slips off of their sofa and curls into Zayn's side instead. 

"You alright?" He asks quietly, a faint blush dusting his cheeks and he picks at the hem of the shorts he's wearing. Zayn doesn't know how he's still wearing them, it's after midnight and there's a cool metallic air bursting out of vents in the ceiling of the bus that Zayn has his hood up for. Niall’s hair is all ruffled and stuck up at the back, he looks tired too, bags under his too wide eyes and his lips pulled into a thin line as he nibbles on the bottom one.

"Yeah," Zayn murmurs lifting his arm onto the back of the sofa. Niall stares at it for a moment, like he's thinking over scenarios in his head, before he shifts closer until he's pressed up against Zayn's ribs, thin knobbly knees folding in front of him and tipping until they're pressed against Zayn's thighs and his whole body is angled into Zayn's. Zayn fights to keep his breathing even but he has a flash of worry that Niall can hear his heartbeat from where his head is resting because he can certainly hear it roaring behind his ears.

"Missing home?" Niall mutters and Zayn wonders if he's being too obvious or if Niall has some sort of magical way of reading him like a book. Liam hasn't said anything to him yet so he assumes it's the latter, which doesn't make him as uncomfortable as he would've expected. Niall is peering innocently up at him from under his lashes and Zayn has to catch himself staring because he never realised they were that long. 

"Yeah," Zayn breathes out, a weight lifting from his shoulders now that he's finally said it. Niall's lips twist in not quite a smile but in a way that can't really be described as anything else and gives him an understanding look. He reaches out and somehow manages to extract Zayn's fingers from the cuff of the hoodie he's wearing, entangling them and shoves them between their thighs so Louis doesn't spy them and say something that would make the pair of them blush. Zayn just smiles faintly into the tufts of blond hair under his chin and let's Niall's breathing calm him down enough until he feels like he could sleep.

The next night they're in a hotel again and Zayn gets ready for bed as usual, climbing below the covers and turning off the light, ignoring his suitcase that's lying half open in the middle of the room. It lasts for all of three minutes until he's tripping over stray shoes and searching down into the bottom until his fingers brush over the soft grey wool he's looking for. 

*

Louis catches him one morning, wrapped around Mr. Cuddles, lips brushing over a soft velvet circle sewn into the foot and nose pressed against his belly button and Zayn knows he'll never let him live it down. He cackles into his ear and takes a million photos that somehow - much to Zayn's relief - doesn't make it onto Twitter, but it's only a matter of time. 

"Ickle Zaynie want a bottle before he gets put down for his nap?" Louis asks one afternoon in front of a few radio reporters that are still lurking around the backstage area. He thinks he's in Dallas but really he's only going by the way the sweat is rolling down his back and how the heat is making Louis even more irritating than he already is. Zayn doesn't even have the energy to argue with him, he just sits back into the sticky leather seats beside Niall and let's the blush silently work it's way up his neck and add to the sweat gathering at the nape of his neck. 

"Should we tickle your feet and sing a lullaby too?" Louis pokes again. He's all the way over at the other end of the room and Zayn sort of wishes the fan that he's sitting beside would break and the blades would slice through his neck or something. A few of the reporters laugh, some of them nervously confused and others tap things into their phone which makes Zayn really hope Paul or someone from PR catches before they leave. 

Harry smirks in a way that tells Zayn that Louis has told him exactly what's going on but Liam looks just as much in the dark as most of the press. 

"Want Niall to rub your back and help you with your gas?" Louis sniggers, finally making Harry laugh in earnest. Zayn glares over at him, hyper aware of what would happen if he actually did snap at him in front of this many people. He knows what he's doing anyway, dying to get a reaction out of him and Zayn stubbornly doesn't want to give him the satisfaction.

"Stop being a dickhead," Niall bites out and Louis' eyes widen a little as he switches his gaze to Niall beside him. Niall hardly ever tells any of them off, especially not Louis when he's trying to be funny. Zayn turns his head so he can see Niall's annoyed expression, sunburn only explaining half the flush on his cheeks. Zayn's not sure if Niall knows but his face remains straight never the less. "I've seen you sucking your thumb before so don't pretend you're above it all." 

Louis' cheeks flush a little darker but he just shrugs and turns his head to annoy Harry instead who always seems to resist his attempts. Niall goes back to scrolling through twitter as if nothing ever happened but his toes wiggle between the denim of Zayn's leg and the hot leather and stay there until they're called back to sound check. 

* 

By the time the bear goes missing Louis has cooled down on the jokes and Liam has been officially clued in on what’s been going on but Zayn feels it's still too soon for him to really legitimately ask them for help - he can imagine the expressions on their faces if he knocks on one of their doors at 1am and asks them very seriously, 'have you seen my teddy bear?'.

Zayn bites down the panic building in his stomach and tries to think rationally through where he would've left it, they had been travelling on the bus through the night again last night but he had it, swaddled in a spare t-shirt at the bottom of his backpack and then pressed between his chest and the side of his bunk the whole night and he was nearly sure he had packed it away again before he went to brush his teeth. He turns his room upside down looking for it until the whole contents of his suitcase are sprawled across the carpet and his room is a complete tip and he's panting hard through his nose. He collapses against his pillows, letting the panic and disappointment claw it's way up his throat and thinks of his little sisters face when he tells her he's lost Mr. Cuddles.

He builds up the courage, half due to the worry and desperation gnawing at him, to go and ask for help. He hovers outside Liam's room - the first person nearly everyone in the band goes to for help before he takes a few more steps down the hallway and knocks on Niall's door. There's no answer but he can see the slice of light under the door into the dim hallway to know that he's at least in there. He pulls out his key - Niall is the only one who still swaps his key with someone just in case. The others have all fell out of the habit months ago but Niall nearly always slides his room key over to Zayn after they check in. 

He beeps into his room and notices how much his hands are shaking when he twists the door knob.

"Niall," he whispers and looks around the room. The lights are all on and TV is on mute, his laptop is running on the coffee table but it's just the desktop, a picture of all five of them pulling funny faces when they were sixteen. Zayn pads further into the room and stops short when he turns the corner to the sleeping area. Niall's asleep, spread over the mattress with his arms spread wide like he's just flopped down right there and then. His face is buried half in the pillow and half in the squished stomach of Mr Cuddles, the bear distorted by the way it's pressed into Niall's face. 

Relief, quickly followed by affection floods through Zayn's body and he thinks nothing of it as he kicks off his jeans and crawls onto the mattress beside him, running a hand through Niall's hair to wake him up. 

Niall blinks sleepily at him for a moment before his skin floods crimson and he scrambles back, rolling onto his side and eyes widening. 

"Zayn," he croaks. "What are you doing here?" 

"Looking for this." He thumbs over the bobbled edge of the bears foot and Niall's face nearly goes purple with embarrassment. 

"Sorry," he groans and pulls the duvet up to bury his heated face in it. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I'm such a dickhead." 

Most of the words are muffled by the sheets but Zayn gets his intent anyway. There's a warm glow in his stomach and Zayn doesn't really know why but he supposes it's like most of the jittery feelings he's been experiencing the last few weeks due to Niall. He tugs the duvet out of Niall's way and looks down at his hot face with a growing smile. 

"Want to explain why you have my sisters bear in your bed?" Zayn asks, fighting hard to keep a straight face when Niall's face screws up and he slaps a hand over his eyes.

"Don't say it like that," Niall groans in a way that makes Zayn break into a laugh. "It makes me sound like some creep." 

"Aw Niall," Zayn croons, rolling over so he can lie flat against him. "You are a creep, my favourite kind of creep." Niall bats at his shoulder half heartedly before he grips his t-shirt and pulls him closer so they can lie together, bear squidged between their chests. Niall stays quiet for a moment, eyes darting around at something over Zayn's shoulder.

"It smells of you," Niall breathes against his throat and looking anywhere but Zayn's eyes. Zayn swallows and looks down at him, cheeks fading to magenta. He feels like he shouldn't be lying like this, hovering over him and trapping against the mattress with his forearms but Niall still has his fingers tangled in the back of his shirt so he doesn't move an inch. "That's why I took it. It smells of you." 

Niall stays quiet for another long moment and Zayn repositions himself, letting his legs settle until they're pressed against Niall's and his arm is flung over Niall's chest. Niall blinks at the ceiling and he can see the regret at speaking already building in his eyes so Zayn lays his head against his shoulder and watches his throat as Niall swallows around words. 

"Sorry I shouldn't have - "Niall finally breaks the silence but Zayn just reaches up automatically with his hand and presses a finger to his mouth. 

"Ssssh," Zayn hushes him, letting his finger trail over Niall's lips and down his chin. "Sleep time." 

Niall makes a odd sort of squeak from the back of his throat that Zayn thinks is undeniably cute but he doesn’t draw attention to it, cuddling close enough to him instead so he can plant his lips to his jaw. Niall goes still under him, eyes fluttering shut before darting down to meet Zayn's but Zayn just smiles at him, using his thumb to tip his chin down so he can press a chaste kiss against Niall's slack lips. 

"You can borrow him any time you want," Zayn tells him, biting down on his lip to quell the nervous butterflies in his stomach that makes him want to throw up. He can hear Niall's heightened breathing better this close and with every word he speaks his lips brush over Niall's. "But, not to blow my own trumpet or anything, I think I smell better." 

Niall lets go of a laugh in a small gust of breath. It fans over Zayn's face and when he lets his eyes open, Niall is staring right at him, wide eyed. Zayn pulls him into another kiss when he doesn't respond and finally he feels Niall relax under him, going pliant as he slides a hand up to knot in his hair. He kisses back just as eagerly before pulling back and rolling their foreheads together slowly. 

"Louis is going to go crazy," Niall muses quietly, voice catching around his hitching breaths. Zayn groans, pulling Niall closer to him and licking into his mouth in a kiss to shut him up.


End file.
